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Does Your Marriage Feel Like
A Runaway Train Heading For A Wreck?
Amy Waterman has been helping couples stop the downward spiral with "Save My Marriage Today" since 2003. Women and men, young and not so young, have learned how to regain control and turn their relationship problems around, even when the situation seemed hopeless. Discover the strategies to regain the loving and fulfilling marriage you know you deserve.
How To Fix A Broken Relationship
A hot topic of discussion when it comes to relationship problems is how to fix a broken relationship. If your relationship was in good shape in recent memory, it shouldn't take a Masters degree in psychology or a complex formula to win back the love you once shared so easily. If you catch relationship problems early on and exercise reasonable patience and fairness, there's really only a few steps to take to get back on track again.
Identify the cause
Many times the cause of relationship trouble is fairly obvious. Maybe it's a problem with money, or the kids, or some little habit that one or the other of you has that has grown to become more irritating to the other. Other times though, there's just some undefinable sense that something isn't quite right. Perhaps the romance isn't all there, the physical affection is less, and there's a general feeling that you are growing apart. If that is the case, you'll have to dig a little deeper and figure out where the root cause of the problem really lies. This knowledge will make it much easier to find a relationship fix for your particular situation. A one size fits all relationship advice might not be right for you.
Pick your battles
Seriously think about whether any particular problem is even worth bringing up. You might find that even though your partner occasionally pays a bill later than you would like, or leaves wet towels on the floor, that it is better to learn to live with these minor imperfections and annoyances than to turn it into a bigger issue. Of course, if your partner is doing something that is causing you hurt feelings or making you feel rejected, or is causing serious social or financial problems, then you need to bring the issue up so that your resentment doesn't build up over time.
Use good timing
If there's an issue you know you really have to talk about, try and pick an opportune time (or at least don't choose a really bad time to do it). If one of you is tired or all stressed out that probably is not the best time to start discussing a really serious problem.
Also, try not to ambush your partner. Jumping all over them with a heavy issue puts a confrontational face on the conversation right from the get go. Rather than the tired old "we need to talk" scenario, start out with something a little lighter, more like “Honey, do you have a couple minutes to talk about something?”
The goal here is not to "win." The goal should be to improve or possibly even save the relationship. Being insulting, harshly critical or impatient is not how to fix a broken relationship. You don't have to talk with your significant other like they are a child, just offer them the same kind of respect you would expect for yourself. Fixing a relationship is easier when you are not being too aggressive.
Accept your share of the blame
You'll be a lot better off working on solving relationship problems together rather than falling into the "who did what first" trap. Take a good look at yourself and see if there isn't something about your own behaviour that could use some improvement. Keep an open mind and really listen to what your partner is telling you, and see if you can't come to some agreement together. Barring physical or emotional abuse, most relationship problems can be negotiated successfully.
While the steps listed here are a strong foundation to fix a relationship, keep an open mind to learning more about the dynamics of relationships and how they work. That way you will move beyond merely learning how to fix a broken relationship, to how to make your relationship even better and stronger than ever.