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Best Marriage Advice And Marriage Tips

Best Marriage Advice And Marriage Tips

Who Can You Trust To Give You The Best Marriage Advice?

When it comes to marriage advice, it seems everyone has an opinion.  It doesn’t seem to matter how much people know about your relationship or how little they know about the circumstances surrounding the issue you are having with your partner.  Everyone you know – and even strangers who just happen overhear you discussing the problem – will tell you exactly what you should do.  The problem is, they are issuing this marriage advice but only know half the story.

Within any marriage there is a history.  It’s the history that develops over time when you live with someone.  Perhaps your partner is saying that he doesn’t want to go to the dinner party your great aunt is holding – and your friends will tell you that they always thought he was unsociable, that he’s being unreasonable, that men just don’t get the family thing and so on. 

Don’t listen to marriage advice like this because the people giving it only know about this dinner party – they don’t know about the other events your family has had that he’s attended, they don’t know that he has a prior engagement for the same night that you agreed to weeks before, or that your great aunt refuses to talk to him on account of the fact she overheard him tell someone years ago that he thought she boiled her vegetables to extinction. 

These things are part of a marriage.  But people who don’t live inside a married couple’s home don’t usually know these little gems of family history, and so the person giving the marriage advice is giving it without being in full possession of the facts.

Marriage advice is rarely given impartially.  This means that there is always a bias towards one side.  The woman’s friends and family will generally support her regardless if she’s right or wrong.  The man’s friends and family will do the same.  What’s worse is that rather than sticking to the situation currently being disputed by the couple, both sides will dig up all the other grievances against the other side that they can remember – so adding fuel to the fire.  This is why many couples with more serious issues than a dinner party end up going to a marriage guidance professional who is not only trained, but more importantly in the marriage advice field, is unknown to either side!

As sappy as it sounds, the best marriage advice that anyone can give you is to listen to your heart.  The person you have the problem with is your life partner, not just someone who may be transient in your life.  Is this really something worth upsetting the person you love about?  Is it something that you can’t reach a compromise with?  Isn’t it possible that you are being just a tiny bit unreasonable?

Which leads to the next best piece of marriage advice – and that is to look first to your own actions before you start assigning the role of the unreasonable party to your partner.  It’s easy to take a partner’s opinion for granted.  Of course he wants to go to great aunt’s dinner party (despite the fact she won’t speak to him) because he goes to all your family functions – of course he’ll cancel the other engagement he had.  But think about it... 

In view of the fact that he usually goes, is it reasonable to demand he goes on this occasion?  Or would a marriage advice expert tell you that in terms of equality within a marriage, sometimes you have to accept that your requests are unreasonable and you need to remember that marriage is an equal relationship where occasionally your partner is allowed to go and do his (or her) own thing if they choose.

Marriage Tips for Long Term Success

Marriage is an institution as old as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  Many of us have worked very hard to keep our marriage and our families together in harmony.  I really like the old adage “Marriage is made in heaven, but so is thunder and lightning.”  That sums up how a marriage can go but with careful consideration and communication, your marriage can remain for a long time.  I would like to share some marriage tips for long-term success.

In my research studies, I found the following marriage tips for long-term success that other married couples shared.

• Intimacy in a marriage is very important both sexually and emotionally, that is why you should continue to build on intimacy in your marriage.
• Create passion for life and for one another.  Being passionate in your life and with your mate helps your marriage to keep growing.
• Marriage is a commitment that you should celebrate with each other.
• Your mate is your lifetime friend.  In order for someone to become your friend, you need to like them.  Learn to like each other for their many things that please you.
• Learn how to have fun with each other laugh together and use humor in healthy ways.
• It is always important to comfort, encourage, and affirm one another.
• A married couple learns to be independent and stand on your own two feet as a couple and not be dependent either financially or emotionally on either of your parents.
• Privacy and space is all important so respect one another in that manner.
• It is important when the children come that you parent together for your children and your marriage.
• You should deal with crisis and adversity together as one.  When you fight or quarrel do it fairly.
• One of the best marriage tips for a long-term success in your marriage is to accept each other’s differences and do not try to change your spouse.
• Keep romance alive in your marriage.  Think of things to do that will please your spouse.

The above marriage tips for long-term success are important but I believe that intimacy is one of the most important parts of a good marriage.  Intimacy is more than just sex.  Our psychological, spiritual, and physical makeup cries out for intimacy with one another.  The reason we have this feeling is that God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships, in which we share life intellectually, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

In continuing with our marriage tips for long-term success, we have broken intimacy down into five important aspects of our lives.  The first one is Intellectual intimacy. 

1. Intellectual intimacy is not about discussing highly intellectual ideas but just simple thoughts about food, finances, health, crime, work, politics all the things that are affecting your lives.
2. Much of our lives involve social intimacy - - that is, spending time around events in our lives together or experiencing events separately but sharing through open communication. 
3. Our feelings are spontaneous, emotional responses to what we encounter through the five senses.  We should share our emotions and thus build emotional intimacy. 
4. Spiritual intimacy does not require agreement of belief on every detail.  We are seeking to tell each other what is going on with our inner self.  The purpose is not agreement, but understanding. 
5. Our final marriage tip for long-term success is the physical intimacy.  We should strive to grow closer together, not to eliminate the “otherness” but to enjoy it as one.